Dear Bunmi,
It certainly is a small world! My current boyfriend is over 20 years older, but I love him a lot.
He is young-at-heart and a good father to his two daughters from a previous marriage.
When he mentioned the neighbourhood where he grew up, I told him my mother came from the same area. He asked what her maiden name was, and he was visibly embarrassed when I told him.
He admitted he’d had a relationship with my mom, whilst they were growing up and that they had sex a few times.
This has really shaken me badly. I don’t know if I can keep on seeing him with the possibility of both him and my mom meeting again, after all these years.
Desr Bunmi, what if we eventually get married?
It’ll certainly be weird sleeping with a man who’d slept with my mom in the past!
Jumai, by e-mail.
Dear Jumai,
Whether you keep on seeing this man will depend on how freaked out you and your man are.
With so much ‘history’ between you, one or both of you may be reluctant to go on. Thank goodness you’re not deeply involved yet, and it shouldn’t be too hard to let the relationship go.
But what really is your problem here? You know there is an age gap and he’s obviously had other relationships over 20 years ago.
There might be an awkward moment when he and your mom meet, but I’d advise you to concentrate on what you have now, not what happened in the past.
