by Osahon George Osayimwen is a UK-based Nigerian journalist

If there is any society that is designed to make you feel lonely and at the same time keep you single, it is the United Kingdom. Even if you come in married, you might lose your spouse if care isn't taken. Over 100,000 marriages crash in a year in the UK, about 44% of marriages will always crash annually. The cost of living also puts so much pressure on you that your workplace might become your salvation. Every other thing takes a secondary position except for very religious people. Mind you, Nigerians mostly become less religious once they cross international borders.

It is not strange for people to get involved in office/workplace romance in the UK since this is where people spend most of their time. But this route could be a very disastrous one. Gist spreads easily in work environments. No lady wants to be the talk of any organisation simply because she spread her legs for a big-mouthed man. Financial demands from people back home could drive anybody insane. It prompts you to pick extra shifts to meet different endless requests. For every extra shift you pick, you have robbed yourself of good moments or any chance of recuperation over the next 12 hours.
The implication of being too busy is that it denies you any full commitment to a serious relationship. You might end up seeking the opposite sex's attention only when you are Hot. In the UK, there is an abundance of men who desperately want to fill that sexual void. Marriage is never on the table for them, but when it comes to the ‘mid-section' contests, they are always on top like Manchester City.

So how can the challenge of being single be resolved? The approach below might be of help:

The State of Emergency Approach

If you are a single lady in your 30s in the UK, you must first declare a state of emergency (SOE) in your love life. The security level needs to be raised to the highest point. This entails treating any adult male close to you with utmost priority except if the person is a blood relation. It should be noted that without humility, the SOE can't get the desired results. That smiling neighbour approaching you to discuss boring issues needs the brightest green light to encourage him to speak up with his full chest. That course-mate assisting with your assignments needs to be ‘grilled' like a corrupt politician to know his deep desires. I know this is a bit dicey and against my principles, but that colleague sharing food with you at work needs to be handed a starting shirt like Kobbie Mainoo of Manchester United. That shy prayer warrior in church, hovering around you like a drone, needs to be asked if he could ‘pray harder' behind closed doors. Those random Direct Messages you get after commenting on microblogs on Instagram, Facebook and X need urgent attention. When you meet classy people, jokingly tell them you are single and would like to meet their single friends. Like-minds attract each other.

In a nutshell, every available avenue needs to be explored. People might call it desperation but the end will justify the means. Stop waiting for those in high-end occupation lists like medicine, nursing, tech, engineering, law, accounting and the like to come for you. Wishful thinking and pride amongst Nigerians in the UK have created a large pool of singles who believe they don't need each other.

Being single in the UK is tantamount to being stranded at sea. Also, the market is wired against immigrants. The Oyinbos will hardly give you a chance because of ethnic considerations. The majority of Nigerians also come in married (both fake, partially original and truly original). The singles market is so microscopic. Most of the partners some people settle for are either stolen or ‘fairly used' like clothes from charity shops. When the chances of success are low, an all-inclusive approach becomes ideal.

Last updated on July 1st, 2024 at 05:41 am